Interview:

Q: You're really a rags-to-riches-to-rags-to-riches success story overcoming hurdles, aren't you?

A: Yes! Actually I'm a rags-to-riches-to-rags-to-riches-to-rags story, because I live in a trailer! I used to have my own home in Malibu overlooking the ocean, now I overlook 'Ol Lady Wilson's weed farm. I'm trying to climb my way to the top again, but this darned show isn't going anywhere! I'm thinking about going into porn because it's a step up from this!

Q: Nice leg.

A: Real funny. After Rollo the Clown ran me down with his clown car, just because I slept with his girl Dinkie Doodles, I spent all my money on lawyers to sue the little bast**d. I won, but he is a second level clown and he didn't have any money. I got his foam nose and floppy sneakers, though! However, I had no money left for a real prosthetic leg, so I found this wooden leg in an antique store and stole it by putting it on under my pants and limping out.

Q: You sound much smarter than anyone else at the trailer park. Why is that?

A: I graduated from Yale! I'm an investment banker by education. However, I kind of invested other people's money into Las Vegas crap tables and got caught. I spent 3 months in minimum security prison, where I learned clown skills. I'd pulled myself back to the top - then there was Rollo. I watched Trading Spaces on TLC to learn design skills, but very few of the ideas work in a trailer with a $50 budget. Thank God trailers usually don't have alarm systems, or I'd never be able to afford nice materials and furniture!

Q: It seems that you don't let your size get you down.

A: It's not the size that matters, they say (laugh). I've learned to use my size for success instead of letting it limit my opportunities. For example, I make some extra money on the side cleaning ductwork by taping Swiffer pads all over my body and crawling through them! That's using my size for good!

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